A adaptação de um adolescente quando ele se muda de país

Eu podia começar esse post falando sobre todas as vantagens de uma mudança de país para a vida de uma criança ou adolescente. Mas, isso todo mundo já sabe, né? A gente que é mãe ou pai faz tudo sempre pensando no melhor para nossos filhos.



Mas e eles? O que pensam de todas essas decisões que tomamos por eles? Já passamos por isso e sabemos muito bem que achamos nossos pais os mais chatos do planeta algumas vezes na vida.

Pois aqui em casa meu Rafa está entrando na adolescência. Faz 13 anos daqui a 16 dias. E com a mudança de voz, o bigode que já quer aparecer e a atitude de achar que tudo nesse mundo é chato e a mãe dele é vacilona, acrescentamos uma mudança à lista: a de país!

Junto com ela todo o resto mudou: escola, amigos, distância da família, todas as referências que ele tem na vida. Depois de cinco meses (completamos dia 20!) de vida nova, o que eu tenho pra dizer é: difícil, viu? A gente sempre ouve um “criança se adapta fácil”, “eles são os primeiros a se adaptar”, mas sabe o que? Isso vai depender muito da idade.

Por experiência própria, digo: pretende morar fora do país? Mude-se antes de seus filhos entrarem na adolescência! Nem sempre da pra gente escolher, claaaaaaro. Mas, amigas minhas com bebês ou crianças pequenas têm várias outras dificuldades, mas não precisam lidar com questionamentos, crises de identidade e rebeldia. rs



Aqui em casa, Rafa tá sentindo muito. Já é mais maduro por natureza, e encontrou crianças mais infantis por aqui (não estou criticando, acho ótimo que a infância se estique até onde for possível!) e com quase 1 ano de diferença pra ele. O calendário diferente e o fato dele ter recomeçado o sétimo ano deram nisso.

E o que isso significa? Ele acha tudo um saco. Não se identificou com ninguém e acha todo mundo bobo. Reclama que a escola é chata e que, já que ninguém acha graça das piadas que ele conta, resolveu não falar mais nada.

Não é que ele esteja sendo isolado. Pelo contrário. Os miúdos vivem atrás dele, querendo puxar papo, conhecer mais esse brasileiro que é tão misterioso (leia-se na dele). Essa semana que passou acompanhei a turma dele como voluntária a um passeio da escola. E vi com os próprios olhos: a criançada brinca o tempo inteiro de correr, se chutar e trocar tapas. Kkkk

Sabe aquela coisa beeeeem criançona? Não rola pro meu adolescente. Soma-se a isso o fato dele ter decidido que não quer se relacionar com portugueses. Na cabeça dele, só é legal quem é brasileiro.

E a gente nisso tudo? Conversa, explica, mas também diz que entende. Jogo aberto, sempre dizemos que isso é algo que ele vai ter que enfrentar. Mas, que é preciso um esforço dele. Abrir a guarda, tentar se identificar com pelo menos uma pessoa.



Já estive na escola conversando com a psicóloga e o diretor de turma (um professor representante da escola com os pais). Estamos alinhados e vamos trabalhar juntos pra ajudar Rafinha passar por tudo isso.

Enquanto isso, vamos levando. Rafa não é uma criança triste ou que sai fazendo besteira. Continua tirando notas ótimas. Estreitou os laços com os amigos brasileiros (filhos amigas que fiz aqui) e está sempre rindo e brincando com eles.

E seguimos. Muitos dizem que os seis meses são uma data importante nessa adaptação. Daqui a 30 dias eu conto se isso é verdade! rs

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66 Comentários

  1. Olá Mic!! Achei seu post justamente procurando saber sobre a dificuldade de se mudar com um adolescente. No meu caso, estamos planejando mudar para a Noruega (ainda enfrentaremos a barreira da língua). Somos eu e meu filho que estará com 14 e meio na época da mudança. Temo pensar que posso estragar a vida dele no sentido de fazer com que ele enfrente dificuldades tão novo. Estou aflita!! De qualquer forma quero agradecer por compartilhar sua experiência. Desejo a vocês e principalmente ao Rafa uma vida muito feliz !!!

    1. Nossa, Bianca! Noruega! Olha, no seu caso tem o clima super rigoroso, além do idioma. Mas, cada criança reage de uma forma. Eu acho que é uma questão de conversa, paciência e uns petelecos de vez em quando! ehehehe

  2. Oi Mic,

    Muito obrigada por compartilhar suas experiências! Está nos ajudando muito! Somos 4 aqui em casa, Gui com 12 p/13, marido, cachorro e eu! Rsrs Vou por último! Como muitos brasileiros, estamos decepcionados, amedrontados e sufocando por aqui. Pensando seriamente, de forma organizada e bem estruturada, de mudarmos de país daqui a 1 ano.
    O nosso maior medo é o nosso filho. Moramos em um Condomínio aqui no Rio onde ele está desde 4 anos de idade com vaaaários amigos, famílias amigas, escola próxima de casa… mas estamos ilhados nesse RJ de meu Deus… É muito bom ler sobre mudança com filhos dessa idade. Temos família nos Açores, mas em lisboa seremos só nós. Vamos nos falando! Amei seus posts!!!! Obrigada novamente!

    1. Oi, Claudine! Eu sei bem do que você está falando. E quer saber uma coisa boa? Você tem tempo de ir conversando com o Gui, mostrando pra ele tudo que pode ser melhor ao viver aqui, as vantagens, e os riscos que se corre hoje em dia no Brasil.

      Ja vou falando que nao ajuda muuuuuito, mas é melhor do que aqui em casa, que em três meses decidimos vir e nos mudamos. Foi muito rapido e intenso.

      Que bom que estou ajudando. Se tiver alguma duvida, é só falar!

      1. Olá Claudine, posso dar minha opinião ou falar de minha experiência? Morei nos EUA por um pouco mais de 1 ano e na opinião de todos os membros da família, até mesmo do meu filho na época com 5 anos, foi a melhor coisa que fizemos na vida. Ninguém queria voltar. Voltamos chorando e ainda entramos numa onda bem depressiva para SP. Meus filhos tinham 4 e 8 na época. O que eu fiz foi o seguinte: com minha filha super ansiosa de 8 anos que já entendia tudo eu a preparei durante um ano, explicando tudo o que iria acontecer, mostrando todas as coisas incrivelmente maravilhosas que teríamos ou
        faríamos lá. Garanti que ela não precisava se preocupar com escola (e não mesmo), que ela podia só ir para a escola,se aprendesse algo ótimo, senão, tudo bem. Não precisava ficar em pânico porque não aprendeu nada, porque isso não era importante, isso se resolveria naturalmente depois, com o tempo. E sabe o que aconteceu? No primeiro dia de escola, minha filha que não sabia falar “thank you” queria ir sozinha conhecer a professora e a classe. Em 3 meses já falava inglês e já tinha amigos. Com meu filho pequeno, não contei nada, ele só observava as coisas e (propositalmente) não o matriculei na escola no mesmo momento que minha filha. Na semana seguinte em que minha filha começou as aulas ele perguntou “mamãe, e eu não vou ter escola também?” Então, já que foi ele quem pediu, ganhou escola também. Enfim, vc conhece seu filho, veja o que funcionará melhor para ele.É contar tudo explicadinho que vai acontecer para não ficar ansioso, ou isso vai deixá-lo ansioso? É dizer que será uma longa viagem, como se fossem férias prolongadas (quando passar um ano, já nem lembra mais que eram férias) e que depois vocês voltam? Boa sorte

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    Maintaining a Healthy Prostate

    To prevent prostate diseases, an appropriate meals are important. These are some of the actions and also hardwearing . prostate healthy.

    1. Drink sufficient water. Proper hydration is necessary for health and wellness and this will also keep the urinary track clean.

    2. Some studies advise that a few ejaculations per week will assist to prevent cancer of the prostate.

    3. Eat steak without excess. It has been shown that consuming a lot more than four meals of beef a week will heighten the probability of prostate diseases and cancer.

    4. Maintain a suitable diet with cereals, vegetable and fruits to make sure sufficient intake of nutrients needed for prostate health.

    The most important measure to adopt to make sure a healthy prostate is to opt for regular prostate health screening. If you are forty yrs . old and above, you ought to go for prostate examination at least one time per year.

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